giovedì 12 gennaio 2012

OMMAIGOD FIFTEDISCION??!!!?!?!

Già, avete decifrato bene.
La Wizard Of The Coast annuncia nel 2000 la famosa 3rd Edition di Dungeons&Dragons.
Questo era dodici anni fa.
Nel 2008, dopo l'intervallo della 3.5, annuncia la famigerata 4th Edition.
Questo era solo quattro anni fa.
Ora la Wiz annuncia che presto inizieranno i playtest per la nuova, la 5th Edition, e che il gioco è già in sviluppo sia su carta che su computer.
3rd -- otto anni --> 4th --quattro anni --> 5th.
Se poi qualcuno continua ad insistere dicendo che la 4th NON faceva cagare a spruzzo, gli riverserò la mia opinione direttamente in gola con un imbuto.
Ma cerchiamo di raggiungere un'asintotica obiettività: commentiamo direttamente le parole affidateci dalla WoTC, in lingua inglese (ecco la pagina):
"As you may have read in the New York Times, it’s an exciting time for Dungeons & Dragons. We are happy to announce today that we are developing the next iteration of D&D, and will be looking to the legions of D&D fans to help shape the future of the game along with us."
Maybe because you can't do it by yourself anymore. Getting old? Or maybe the opposite? Too many young dumbasses at WoTC? I can't imagine the reason, really. Maybe 5-year-old children tried to act like their older brothers? Game-addicted players complained about the game being so trivially determined by role-playing and not by skills and equipments? No clue, seriously, but it must have been some great shit.
"As part of our increased efforts to engage with the player-base, we launched a series of weekly articles in early 2011, including Rule of Three and Legends & Lore, to give you a voice in our work. We’ve listened to both praise and criticism from all D&D fans, regardless of their edition of choice, and we’ll continue to do so."
Mostly to criticism, I guess. Mentioning this "edition of choice" was a damn wrong move, also: everybody knows that people prefer to play 3rd Edition, at least. "Everything but the 4th", some would say. Can't disagree.
"That is why we are excited to share with you that starting in Spring 2012, we will be taking this process one step further and conducting ongoing open playtests with the gaming community to gather feedback on the new iteration of the game as we develop it. With your feedback and involvement, we can make D&D better than ever."
Better than now, for sure. Better than 2nd, 3rd Editions? I doubt it. But this is not the time of acting traditionalist. This is the time of playtesting. I like this part. I playtested my whole life.
"We seek to build a foundation for the long-term health and growth of D&D, one rooted in the vital traits that make D&D unique and special. We want a game that rises above differences of play styles, campaign settings, and editions, one that takes the fundamental essence of D&D and brings it to the forefront of the game. In short, we want a game that is as simple or complex as you please, its action focused on combat, intrigue, and exploration as you desire. We want a game that is unmistakably D&D, but one that can easily become your D&D, the game that you want to run and play."
The more I read, the more I acknowledge that Wiz has fallen in disgrace. They've become so pitiful that every word of hope from this message cannot hide the rotting smell of decadence. They dared to turn D&D into an MMORPG (don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the videogame, I'm talking about the board game turned into a shitty, turn-based version of World of Warcraft. Powers even have cooldown time!)and they eventually, and inevitably, failed.
"We have begun obtaining feedback from a limited Friends & Family playtest consisting of internal employees and their gaming groups and soon we will be expanding that group to consist of members from our existing body of playtesters. Then at the D&D Experience convention in late January, Wizards of the Coast will conduct a special playtest of ideas currently in development. The D&D Experience will be moving to Gen Con in 2013, so as a convention special this year, we will be offering show attendees a first-look at a draft of the new set of rules."
Wow, now I get it. I must absolutely put some monkeys among the "internal employees" of WoTC. They might considerably raise the standards.
Fortunately for me, open playtest will start in Spring, JUST BEFORE EXAMS. My social and scholastic life abruptly ended with YOU and SKYRIM. Fantasy will kill me one day.
Still, I signed to receive news from Wiz. I can't just wait and see that shit coming out without having at least tried to make it better.
That's all for today, folks!

...now go get a life you scumbags

2 commenti:

  1. If someone of the WotC reads this: Give me a b.lowjob.

    RispondiElimina
  2. Posso fartelo io per l'articolo su bjd su Alcest?

    RispondiElimina